100 lies from the movies

[misaffection]

* All things explode when they crash.

* When the whole group is in danger, the best thing to do is split up.

* You can find anything or anyone on the Internet.

* Before you die, your murderer would like to tell you a story.

* Husbands don’t immediately understand what their wives mean when they say, “I’m pregnant”.

* It is still possible to win a fight after being repeatedly punched and kicked in the head for several minutes.

* Heroes say something poignant before they die.

* Villains just scream their tits off.

* All drug dealers have ponytails.

* You can jump through a plate-glass window without getting a scratch.

* When you hear a suspicious noise in the house, the best thing to do is shout out the name of the person you hope that it is.

* Airplanes only crash behind clusters of trees.

* The third message on your answering machine is always the important one.

* All shopping bags contain a breadstick.

* The first symptom of radiation poisoning is mutation into a creature.

* Meteors make an evil rumbling noise when travelling through space.

* American Indians never laughed.

* Unless Kevin Costner was somehow making a dickhead of himself.

* Aircraft on the take-off runway often find it difficult to outrun a chasing car.

* When crossing a swinging suspension bridge of wood and rope, the rotting plank will only break when the girl steps on it.

* If there is a nun on your flight, cancel your ticket and get the next one.